There is something intrinsically terrifying about approaching someone of the opposite gender. It’s strange, the fear and anxiety you must overcome as you tell yourself to go over there and talk to them. I’m sure everyone has experienced this at some point or another, and has a pretty good idea of what I might be talking about without really explaining it in much detail. Suffice it to say, it’s a harrowing experience most of the time.
So what about when you’re trying to approach someone of the same gender? What exactly is the difference, or maybe, why isn’t it different?
For men, to approach another man, sort of one-on-one, the acceptability is very, very dependent on the setting. Strangely enough, I think this is also true about man-woman interaction, although the location/awkwardness is, almost, inverse.
One-on-One approach OK factor:
Bar No Yes
Nightclub No Yes
Party No Yes
Library No Yes
Sporting Event No Probably(Only if sporting event is primarily of manly orientation)
Restaurant No Yes
Funeral Yes No (Maybe)
Dinosaur Museum No Yes
Art Gallery No Yes
Facebook No Yes
E-mail No Maybe
Dating Site No Maybe
Church Maybe Maybe
Using this chart, we can see that in a One-on-One approach, it is generally unacceptable for a man to approach another man. Women may scoff, but the factor here is camaraderie. Men approach other men based on a given brothers-in-arms factor. Mutual hate/love of something, which has been visibly or vocally declared prior to the approach, is an almost necessary factor.
As well, conversation should generally be limited to that singular topic; oppositely, in the male-female approach, the goal is to achieve further conversational topics.
What this usually means is that men make other man-friends by repeated, mostly accidental, exposure.
So, how do men approach the man date, where a one-on-one approach is almost necessary because ‘That Bro seems like a Cool Bro, and as a fellow Cool Bro, you feel like you could be Cool Bros together’…but you have no point of exposure?